Hi dear readers! Thank you for being here, however it works for you. And now for this week’s (im)perfect offering (to riff on the Leonard Cohen lyrics)…Sending you love during these wild times. I appreciate you all more than you know! xx Alexa
Years ago, I sat outside the Louvre and wept. Not from sadness, but from something closer to awe.
I was overwhelmed.
All this art I’d only ever seen on postcards or in my Art History textbooks.
The Mona Lisa, in particular, hit me hard.
Pushing through the crowds, I got as close to her as I could. I thought I already knew Mona. I mean, close your eyes — she’s already there. Practically a deity!
But in person, she’s small. And…odd.
What was she looking at?
Why was she smiling?
I know those questions have been asked for centuries — as cliché as Mona herself — and yet...I felt her look right through me.
Knock it off, Mona, I wanted to say.
She seemed so solid. So still.
Yet, as I got in closer, I started to make out the fine, translucent cracks in the paint — as though, actually, she might fall apart, or disintegrate altogether into the strange landscape behind her.
I was moved by an image I thought I already knew.
Outside, the church bells rang.
I was wearing a little dress and black Oxfords, my bangs freshly cut. I hoped I looked like Anna Karina — that scene in Godard’s Band of Outsiders, when she races through the Louvre with her coconspirators. A scene as cliché as the Mona Lisa. As cliché as weeping for no reason in Paris…
I was alone.
At 29, my life hadn’t yet cracked in multiple places.
Years later, when it finally did, I’d think back to Mona. I’d bring her to mind, as one does a devotional deity.
I’d remember how solid, how still, how in on the joke she had seemed.
But how, when I got closer, I saw the cracks, how close she was to falling apart.
Yes, there are cracks, there are cracks in everything.
And yes, that’s how the light gets in.
That’s also how we find ourselves weeping in Paris, or back in New York, marveling, just marveling, at the mystery of it all…
A MEDITATION
May I never stop marveling.
Feel free to share whatever’s on your mind, in your heart. Perhaps a moment such as weeping in Paris…or a time you just. felt. so. much.
Keep chasing that light.
xx Alexa
oh i LOVE this!! Mona Lisa is a bit smaller and a little odder than in the mind's eye!
I spent the coldest January in Paris. It did not deter me...it was my first art show in Paris. Thrilling. I layered up and walked every day...every where. I went in as many churches...cathedrals...bookstores.....hats and ribbon boutiques...the real markets and furniture..
I was in heaven. I returned in December of the same year by invitation...what a joy to celebrate the Christmas 🎄 lights, masses, decorations...I was blessed.
Now my daughter to going to Paris for 9 days...such a beautiful affirmation.